alicepire: (Xena: Pwned)
So I wrote this forever ago to save some of my friends from actually having to watch Monster Ark (2005 movie starring Renee O'Connor and Tim DeKay). FIgured I may as well post it here:

FBI agent from White Collar: "Hey, it says here that if we go to this place and open up a box, a monster will destroy the world."
Renee: 'huh. Better go open that box then. BTW, I hate you because you totally cheated.'
FBI: "Holy crap! The monster is killing people! How did no one see this coming?! Also, did not cheat, you're paranoid and slightly unbalanced. BTW I don't believe in god."
Renee: 'Dude. You should totally believe in god. Like whoa. Also, you're dreamy when you fight bad CGI and come across clues two minutes before the optimum time.'
Sergant: "THE MONSTER IS KILLING MY MEN! Did you see Mr T on the Snickers ad? He's like, my hero yo. Best actor ever. I want to be just like him.
Renee: 'It says here on this bit of parchment I just found that the only way to stop the monster is if the chosen one can find the magical god stick and use that god stick to do something totally implausible.'
FBI: "Oh wow! The sun! I totally believe in god now. Hey look, a stick. BTW you're hot when you're terrified."
Renee: 'You're the chosen one AND you believe in Jesus? Take me, take me now, I no longer believe you cheated on me, although I won't admit I was being an irrational bitch.'
FBI: "I choose to forget how miserable you make me and how you're insane. OM NOM NOM."
The end.
alicepire: (Default)
Hey folk. Yesterday my Gelphie article was posted on the MCV site (and I assume the issue went out and can now be found all around Melbourne). It wasn't as long as I wanted to be, so I didn't have enough room to make my case, for example I had to leave out a couple of georgus quotes from Amanda and Lucy and leave out a quote said by original Fiyero (and some of the musical evidence got cut by the editor, which is fair because I did go slightly over my limit...)
I was kinda excited about this piece because although it's not all I wanted it to be, and probably isn't my best work, I liked it and I really enjoyed writing it and researching it. (who doesn't like having to go to Wicked for work?)
So yeah, you can find the piece here
Tell me what you think.

Also, while I'm pimping out my work, my Ani DiFranco exclusive was put up on the Cherrie site recently. It was originally going to get the cover, but then Dorothy Porter died, so she deservingly got the cover (although, and I know it's horrible to say, but I was kinda disappointed, because it was going to be my first cover)
You can find the piece here.
I would love your thoughts on it. I was scared as hell doing it because I'm not really a music journo (well.. I guess I am now...) and I feel really uncomfortable asking personal questions. But I hope that doesn't come across. Honest criticism is VERY welcome.
Merry Christmas!


alicepire: (Default)

April 2012

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